Advising Youths On Their Issues – 9

The young age is receptive to both positive and negative traits just like a fertile land to pouring water. One needs to be cautious enough to inculcate good qualities.  At this age, one of the bad traits that soon find its place in one’s heart is arrogance; the inquiries here reveal how this mighty vice affects the persona:

(40) How to differentiate between Arrogance & Confidence

Arrogance and confidence are contrasting traits. Arrogance is negative whereas confidence is a positive attitude. Arrogance is a complete negative thinking blend with a sense of superiority. Confidence is a positive thinking with a humble nature.

Arrogance is an over confidence that tend to make one feel that he is better and smarter than others. Confidence is a feeling of certainty and a belief that something is true.

Confidence is all about knowing your strengths and weaknesses whereas arrogance is about thinking that you are unbeatable. There are two important parameters based on that you can distinguish between these two concepts:

  1. Confidence is comfort whereas arrogance breeds confusion and uneasiness.
  2. Confidence is to be considerate about strengths and weaknesses whereas arrogance suppresses the feelings of weaknesses.

(41) Why one gets arrogant after the success?

It happens when the success is not viewed in a right perspective. The successful one crosses the limits and shows an attitude that appears quite prejudicial to essentials of success. There may be many reasons:

  • An unexpected success
  • An achievement after a long test and trial
  • Out of proportionate result to the work done
  • Result of a hard work done in an unhealthy competitive environment
  • Success by chance.

In such a case a person tend to behave the way he wants, doesn’t bother about the surroundings or emotions of the people and tries to express himself. This is what we perceive as arrogance which is simply detrimental to success.

Humbleness is a desired attitude of a successful person. Those who have lofty goals and mighty targets, doesn’t go out of proportionate to celebrate their success, rather every success proves to be an inspiration for them to move ahead and they become embodiment of ” …and miles to go before I sleep”.

(42) Is it possible to show confidence without appearing arrogant?

If you are aware of your strengths and weaknesses and you won’t get stuck with confusions and if you are not intolerant of others than you are said to be a confident person, but remember these positive traits should be connected with a solid faith in your Creator.

Now, for showing confidence you should have sound knowledge and intellectual way of expressing thoughts. You must possess the required skills and abilities to present the claims and prove your determination. For showing confidence you need to articulate your skills. What you possess inside should get reflected through your actions. If the positive qualities ensure your confidence than an action with its accordance will have an impression of humbleness. An attitude can’t be depicted in its true spirit with an attitude of an entirely opposite one, so there is no place for boasting.

In all sorts of endeavors, an act of confidence demand knowledge, wisdom, intelligence, and politeness therefore there is no space for any arrogant attitude as it shows a weird aspect of a persona.

(43) Is this arrogance when someone says don’t try to outsmart me, you know who am I?

It may be a reflection of arrogance, but we need to look into the whole conversation, mere on the basis of a few words, the ulterior motive can’t be spelled out.

Whatever, we should try to refrain from such talks. Those who want to climb to the highest peak of success and those who keep their eyes over the horizon; they deliberately refrain from indulging in mean talks.

As far the illustration of one’s personality and proving one’s mettle, there is absolutely no need of any show off attitude. When a flower blossoms the fragrance can be felt, no need to tell someone to smell or feel. When a persona is adorn with good qualities it gets reflected through words and actions.

If one doesn’t have a say in controlling the arrogance, it ultimately leads to irreparable damages and annihilation of such killing traits is possible only with thoughtful attempts. 

(44) How to get rid of pride and arrogance?

Pride is self-respect, vanity and self-esteem. It is good as long as it doesn’t make you feel proud of yourself and never prompt you to think that “only I am the best”. Feeling of increase self-esteem on achieving success is desirable as it has motivated you to excel, but it shouldn’t allow you to get puffed up with pride.

If you feel proud of an “over measure” than just concentrate on yourself, set a target, try to achieve some lofty goals and try to be within yourself. Your success is not in self-patting and thinking great on your own, rather it is all about accomplishment of the set objectives and keeping eyes on life’s mission to ensure untiring efforts.

Arrogance is an overbearing pride and a superior complex which is unwarranted. It deteriorates the personality from within. You can get rid of this weakness by simply focusing on your attitude. Be humble and down to earth. Develop helping nature. Talk politely. Be an optimist. Remember, your superiority doesn’t get exhibited through your words; rather your constructive endeavors shape your future and let the world know what you are. Mingle with everyone. Make good friends. Never demean anyone. Try to take advises from the elders and friends.

There is a thin difference between pride and confidence. When your words of confidence are clubbed with a sense of gratitude towards your God, those words are said to be most revered ones. We usually say I am proud to be…I am proud of… on hearing these words an impression gets emerged that the claim is lacking a sense of gratitude and that a person is arrogantly expressing his utmost confidence. Instead, one should say I am thankful to…..By God….I am pleased to…..

Prophet Muhammad’s (pbuh) ideal is that the words of appreciation and achievements have to be borne with a spirit of thankfulness. Look at the following narration, how humbly Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) mentions the greatest blessings bestowed on him:

عَنْ أَبِي سَعِيدٍ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم أَنَا سَيِّدُ وَلَدِ آدَمَ وَلاَ فَخْرَ وَأَنَا أَوَّلُ مَنْ تَنْشَقُّ الأَرْضُ عَنْهُ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ وَلاَ فَخْرَ وَأَنَا أَوَّلُ شَافِعٍ وَأَوَّلُ مُشَفَّعٍ وَلاَ فَخْرَ وَأَوَّلُ دَاخِلٍ الْجَنَّةَ وَلا فَخْرَ  وَلِوَاءُ الْحَمْدِ بِيَدِي يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ وَلاَ فَخْرَ

It was narrated from Abu Sa’eed that the Messenger of Allah said: “I will be the leader of the sons of Adam and I am not proud of that. I will be the first one for whom the earth will be split open on the Day of Resurrection, and I am not proud of that. I will be the first to intercede and the first whose intercession will be accepted, and I am not proud of that. I will be the first to enter in Paradise and I am not proud of that. The banner of praise will be in my hand on the Day of Resurrection, and I am not proud of that.” ( Muslim & Ibn Maaja)

Refrain from saying “I am proud of…..” and “I am proud to be…”, rather say “I am thankful…”, “Pleased to be……” and “Grateful to be….”

Be Aware, Allah doesn’t like arrogance:

One of the most malicious evils that make a person deserve to be a dweller of hellfire is arrogance. The Quran condemns the arrogant nature:

وَلَا تُصَعِّرۡ خَدَّكَ لِلنَّاسِ وَلَا تَمۡشِ فِى ٱلۡأَرۡضِ مَرَحًا‌ۖ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَا يُحِبُّ كُلَّ مُخۡتَالٍ۬ فَخُورٍ۬

And turn not your face away from men with pride, nor walk in insolence through the earth. Verily, Allah likes not each arrogant boaster (Ch 31 – Luqman: 18)

إِنَّهُ ۥ لَا يُحِبُّ ٱلۡمُسۡتَكۡبِرِينَ

Verily He doesn’t like the arrogant (Ch 16 – An-Nahl: 23)

God himself ask us in affirmation about an ill-fated abode:

 أَلَيۡسَ فِى جَهَنَّمَ مَثۡوً۬ى لِّلۡمُتَكَبِّرِينَ

 Is there not in Hell an abode for the arrogant? (Ch 39 – Az-Zumar: 60)

…and Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) sayings not only further elaborate the evil but also explicitly demarcate how one can distinguish between arrogant nature and a person’s act of beautifying himself:

عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ مَسْعُودٍ عَنْ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ لَا يَدْخُلُ الْجَنَّةَ مَنْ كَانَ فِي قَلْبِهِ مِثْقَالُ ذَرَّةٍ مِنْ كِبْرٍ

Abdullah Ibn Mas’ud reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “No one who has the weight of a seed of arrogance in his heart will enter Paradise.”

 قَالَ رَجُلٌ إِنَّ الرَّجُلَ يُحِبُّ أَنْ يَكُونَ ثَوْبُهُ حَسَنًا وَنَعْلُهُ حَسَنَةً

Someone said, “But a man loves to have beautiful clothes and shoes.”

قَالَ إِنَّ اللَّهَ جَمِيلٌ يُحِبُّ الْجَمَالَ الْكِبْرُ بَطَرُ الْحَقِّ وَغَمْطُ النَّاسِ

The Prophet (pbuh) said: Verily, Allah is beautiful and He loves beauty. Arrogance means rejecting the truth and looking down on people.” (Muslim)

In another narration Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said:

لَا يَدْخُلُ النَّارَ أَحَدٌ فِي قَلْبِهِ مِثْقَالُ حَبَّةِ خَرْدَلٍ مِنْ إِيمَانٍ وَلَا يَدْخُلُ الْجَنَّةَ أَحَدٌ فِي قَلْبِهِ مِثْقَالُ حَبَّةِ خَرْدَلٍ مِنْ كِبْرِيَاءَ

He will not enter Hellfire who has the weight of a seed of faith in his heart, and he will not enter Paradise who has the weight of a seed of arrogance in his heart. (Muslim)

Humbleness is manliness – Arrogance is devil’s act

You know why Satan was rejected and cursed and sent out of Paradise? When God ordered him to prostrate to Adam, he blatantly refused:

وَإِذۡ قُلۡنَا لِلۡمَلَـٰٓٮِٕكَةِ ٱسۡجُدُواْ لِأَدَمَ فَسَجَدُوٓاْ إِلَّآ إِبۡلِيسَ أَبَىٰ وَٱسۡتَكۡبَرَ وَكَانَ مِنَ ٱلۡكَـٰفِرِينَ

And (remember) when We said to the angels: “Prostrate yourselves before Adam.”. And they prostrated except Iblîs (Satan), he refused and was proud and was one of the disbelievers (disobedient to Allah) (Ch 2 – Al-Baqarah: 34)

The Satan’s refusal was quite unexpected, so …..

قَالَ مَا مَنَعَكَ أَلَّا تَسۡجُدَ إِذۡ أَمَرۡتُكَ‌ۖ قَالَ أَنَا۟ خَيۡرٌ۬ مِّنۡهُ خَلَقۡتَنِى مِن نَّارٍ۬ وَخَلَقۡتَهُ ۥ مِن طِينٍ۬

(Allah) said: “What prevented you (O Iblîs) that you did not prostrate yourself, when I commanded you?” Iblîs said: “I am better than him (Adam), You created me from fire, and him You created from clay.  (Ch 7 – Al-Araf: 12)

Its clear, arrogance is a devil’s act whereas humbleness is manliness.


© Muhammad Abdullah Javed – April 2016


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4 thoughts on “Advising Youths On Their Issues – 9

  1. aslamualaikum wr br ,mashaallha is chaptre me nwojawano ke ley achi hidayat hhi Qur’an aur hades ke jrye se .zajakallha khaira
    Wejkullna lilmalaekatsjud. Last one pira me(satan) . likha hi agre sahi hi to thek hi ni to is me( shaitan )(. shytan ) kisi kitab me istrah pdha tha .

    Liked by 1 person

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